Ciek

I think I'm getting sick. Bleah. I hate getting sick. I just recovered from a bad fever like a few weeks ago...now again?? Noooooo *whine*. Hopefully it won't be too bad.
My immune system is so awful, I wonder how the hell I'm still alive. If I get AIDS, I'll be dead in a few hours. Well, at least I wont have to suffer a great deal. I probably have 1 T cell in my whole body anyways.

They say sensitive people get sick quick. Maybe I am O.o haha.

Perhaps I should become a musician and make a lot of money, and then die quick so that I'll be famous.

Alternatively, perhaps I should study for my midterm exam tonight...

-The Electronic Luddite.

dot.exe

I have a midterm tomorrow and I don't wanna work!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH

I've had enough. I want midterm holidays to come around quick. Its not just the studying that gets to me. I don't mind working...I love studying. Its just that you have to spend so much time doing it that you miss having time around for family and friends. Despite the fact that my sister and I studying in the same uni, in the same DEPARTMENT, I saw her on friday after 2 whole weeks! And then people are always pestering me that I don't spend enough time with them etc etc. How can I??? Its not that I don't want to, I just can't...
I can already see my future: mum and dad will keep complaining that I don't call (well mum already does), neglected wife and kids, friends who won't even come to my funeral (that is IF any of them find out I'm dead lol).

The worst thing about it, is that people think I want this. Well, I do...but not because I hate them, or don't want to spend time with them. I just want to be the best at what I'm doing. Then they keep asking...why?
Ask any footballer or athlete what his or her aim is: to be the best. Why? No one asks them that. Because that's their dream. To stand on the top of the world. Be #1. Not because it pays a lot - hell, being an X-gamer pays close to nothing - its just...to be the best. Finished, fullstop. There's nothing else to it. So it is with me. Its just a hunger, a desire, a want.

And yea, it demands a lot of sacrifice. I get that, and so do people, but they always think I'm doing it cause I prefer my work to them. NO! I don't. If only they knew how lonely I feel in those quiet hours in the night when they are asleep, and I can still see their faces at the back of my mind. If only they knew how much I miss being around them. There's a little bit of me that's thinking about them all the time.

They don't get THAT. They just don't get it.

Mum, dad, my sisters, my friends...I love and miss you guys loads.

-ElectronicLuddite